Dessert's Answer to the Turducken

I was recently engaged in serious post-graduate conversation about turduckens. For those of you living in blissful ignorance about what that might be, let me enlighten you: a turducken is a boneless chicken stuffed inside of a boneless duck, which is then stuffed inside of a boneless turkey. The resulting poultry trifecta can then be grilled or roasted... or, I'm sure, deep fried. I had assumed the turducken was a recent invention,perfectly suited to our current culture of excess. However, it turns out similar dishes were thought to have been made by the ancient Romans. I can't help but re-frame all of my mental images of Cicero and Plutarch to involve going home after a long day at the Forum, putting their feet up, and enjoying a hearty serving of turducken. If only I had known this tidbit during all of my political theory classes...

Regardless, our conversation eventually turned, jokingly, to the possibility of making a desert version of a turducken. We all laughed about the idea of baking a pie inside of a cake, but I began to really think about the endless dessert concoction possibilities. I love baking, and I have realized in the past few years that I bake when I am nervous or anxious. The past few weeks have definitely been hectic enough for me to maintain a healthy level of anxiety, so I figured this mythical dessert was just the thing for me to attempt.

As soon as a friend told me about Oreo cupcakes I knew I had found the recipe for me. I don't know if it is the result of trying one too many new gourmet cupcake boutiques, or seeing one too many commercials for DC Cupcake on TLC, but I have apparently jumped on the bandwagon of the nation's current cupcake obsession at a full sprint. I recently have been unhealthily (on many levels) obsessed with cupcakes. The name cupcake is actually a bit of a misnomer for Oreo cupcakes, as they are mostly made of dairy products and don’t have any flour, sugar, etc. In fact, I was a little nervous when I actually sat down to look over recipes, as I generally don't embrace some of the ingredients on the list, but combined, they surpassed all expectations I had for them, and they were much more appetizing than I imagine a turducken to be. I dubbed them cupcakeos... if Mary and I ever hit it big and get famous, remember, it started here.

Cupcakeo Recipe

21 Oreos (depending on size of muffin tin)

1/4 c. white sugar

1 egg

1/4 c. sour cream

1 8 oz. package of cream cheese

1/2 t. vanilla extract

1/4 t. salt

(these quantities can be easily double or tripled)

1. Line the muffin tray with muffin liners, and place one Oreo inside each liner.

2. In a mixer, blend the cream cheese until soft, then add the sugar. Once blended, add the vanilla and the egg. Continue to blend. When well blended, mix in the sour cream and the salt.

3. Put three Oreos in a plastic sandwich baggie

and hit them with a pestle or another

appropriate object until crushed. (This is a big anxiety-reliever. I guess you could also chop the Oreos with a knife, but where is the fun in that?). Mix crushed Oreos into cream cheese mixer and blend until lightly mixed.

4. Pour batter into muffin tray, covering the Oreos and filling the liners nearly to the top.

5. Bake for about 25 minutes at 300 degrees. The cupcakes will still be slightly moist, but the batter should have set. Let cool in muffin tray then carefully remove cupcakes. Let chill in refrigerator for at least three hours before eating (OK... you don't really have to wait, but it does firm them up quite nicely).